I’m a tall guy – 6’7” – but I hit my growth spurt late and am still waiting for the day when my body catches up with my lanky structure. Jake Pino, on the other hand, is tall and built.
Standing 6’4”, he was confident and cheerful as we sat down for our interview – a disarming smile lighting up his face. Jake had that kind of Lucid Body glow about him that comes after safely bending oneself as an actor and a human and living to share it.
Tall people know that everyone loves to remind you that you’re tall, and perhaps out of practice or perhaps because it’s clearly something we had in common our conversation began on the topic of height and presence. Laughing and smiling together, I had no idea that by the end of our time, Jake’s unassuming vulnerability would have both of us tearing up.
Some days the “Wow, you’re tall!” conversation is easier than others.
Oh yeah absolutely.
I know some days when I’m feeling kind of crabby, I’ll just say “Oh, am I?” like I had no idea and just noticed.
[Laughs] I’ve gotten a hang of it enough to where the most that happens is I think something like that, but I just say “Yup! I guess I am.” But underneath there’s this “Come on, really?”
Sounds kind of like your shadow! Is that what you were working on today?
Yeah. What we just did was inhabiting the three: the child, the shadowy beast, and the hero. Leading with the hero but having the shadow underneath it; or the beast and the child underneath it.
So, you feel your shadow there saying –
Well I guess that’s a perfect example of how this work translates to real life. All these different moments when you have your compassionate side but underneath you kind of want to strangle somebody [laughs].
Do you find yourself then, tall guy to tall guy, having to kind of comfort people? Or sort of slouching? Making sure that everyone feels okay?
One of the reasons I found this class was I was talking to a friend of mine that worked with Fay before about how I was having a really hard time with my work. When my work is at its finest, hands down, is when I’m connected to and integrating my whole body. Oftentimes from the neck up things will be working but from the neck down I’m severed. I think a lot of that has to do with growing up being scared of the power I have and being able to manage it. And just like you said, “taking care of people around you.” I do find myself subconsciously – walking a street alone at night and a girl walks by – I’ll just like drop down subconsciously so I’m not threatening.
Absolutely. I walk faster than other people because my legs are long, and if there’s one person walking in front of me at night, I’ll cross the street to walk on the other side because I’ve scared people before coming up behind them.
Oh yeah, totally. And there’s a big part of that carries with you in other facets – not just physically.
Is this class a place to explore that power for you that you normally keep hidden?
I didn’t do the exercise today – but someone was allowed to really explore their rage in a safe and exciting way. This space for me gives me that chance as well. You’re able to explore things that don’t usually feel safe but here they very much are. And the teachers here do such an incredible job of encouraging you and really pushing you.
What’s something that you’ve needed encouragement to explore?
I had a hard time performing the child. It’s something that I would not – before this class – maybe not even be aware that I have a hard time with that sort of exploration, but definitely not actively pursue exploring it. Realizing that difficult relationship to a part of myself and then choosing to explore it or not in the moment is really incredibly important for me – and for all of us people – but certainly as performers.
On that note, can you tell me a little about your journey as an artist? Are you primarily an actor?
Yeah, primarily an actor. Been here for about six years and in this class now looking for – you know it’s one of those things where I think I was really unsatisfied with my work. Cause I knew better, that it wasn’t being authentic, but I wasn’t sure how to open up those channels.
Can you describe one of the moments in class when something surprised you? You said you might not have known about the child blockage if not for this class. Was there a lightbulb moment?
Yeah. The second class where we took a lot of time exploring each chakra point and what lives in each point, and the first point was the root chakra – fight or flight. Fay encouraged us to really live in that fear and panic of flight in a way that was very difficult for me. Really difficult. Not because I don’t understand panic, but more because I had a panic-like trauma. So, I was like, “I can’t actually visit that because I have this unexplored relationship with myself that I need to flesh out.”
But you felt like you were able to explore that panic safely?
One-hundred percent. Completely. In a way that was very inviting. I certainly have had moments, and I’ve seen them in other people where they’re doing some stuff that’s really scary for them – or scary for me – but it doesn’t feel like we’re under some kind of horrible shame or otherworldly joy that no one else can relate to. You see it in everyone else around you. There’s a really amazing curiosity and welcoming of whatever you’re bringing into the room. I can’t imagine doing this work otherwise.
You’ll be doing this work next, right? You’ll be doing a shadow/child –
I did it in week four, actually. It was interesting because tonight’s exercise was a bit more personal. The one I did was based in three characters – but the source material for the people that worked tonight was their own experience.
Even if you don’t do the more personalized version, do you think you’ll carry those questions with you out of class? I’d love to hear you talk about the repercussions of the class that have been left with you.
I think generally I’ve become more aware from this class of the shifts for myself in each moment. If I’m feeling shame come up, I’m more aware of how that affects me and why that’s a trigger, or joy or… my hero was someone who is mature, passionate, caring, loving, wise, but also doesn’t have time for bullshit. Knowing that is true, I think helps me in those moments when I need to know that I have that in me.
To the other side of it, the first time we explored the child I was having a really hard time and my child manifested as “Leave me alone.” But actually, below that “leave me alone” was “love me.” And then from traumas of various kinds that “love me” turned into “leave me alone.” Getting to know the “love me” child again was both healing and allows you to…
… I realized… through this class I realized that I was having a hard time letting my Mom in recently. Cause I’d have other problems with my Dad when I was a child. And then as I was getting older, I was pushing the other parent away. And that wouldn’t have come up without visiting that here.
Thank you for sharing that. I really appreciate your openness.
No problem. Thank you.